Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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stop it ryan vallee

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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a catholic priest and a young boy

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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like for a handjob.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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