Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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Why was Timmy sad?

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knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What's the point? A: .

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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Knock Knock Come in

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

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What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops