How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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d

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

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Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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I only like NY as a friend.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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