Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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Why are anti-jokes so funny?

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

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Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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