A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops