What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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Your mother is a man.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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Is this a chair?

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops