What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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I can't think of a joke!

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

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What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

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i tped this with my toiung. now i hve germs

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My name is never spelt right so its all good

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co jo kurwa tocza?

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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your moms so fat when she sat on your ipod it turned into an ipad

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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