ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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9/11

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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hey.

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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