How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The Treatment of Steve Bartman

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

69

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Blonde Entrepeneurs

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops