A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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Don't think of granny porn

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who smells? •Liam

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops