Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

A Banana wrote this...

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

a man walks into a bar it hurt

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

Communism

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...