why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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