What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

you know what hurts.... PAIN

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There's no "i" in tim.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops