Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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Frown is a four letter word.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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ugh good riddance

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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