Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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BOOBIES!!!!!!!

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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