What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Hellen Keller

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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I have no ideas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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