Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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Asians are ugly and they look they have down syndrome.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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