wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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