How old is the old man? Probably how old he is

How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

OGC - tilt your head

Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

AHHHHHHH OMGOMG OMG I SAY TO MY MUM SHE RUNS INTO THE ROOM SCREEMING AND SAYS WHAT HAPPEND I SAY ....................... i forgot now (k.c)

i love antijokes

why did the bear go into the woods to get shot

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

What do you call a special Ed walrus? Anorexic pony ???? Discovering that a convicted sex offenderi is living nearby stirs up a range of feelings: fear, anger, insecurity and anxiety. There are many things you can do to make the situation more manageable - and channel these emotions into actions that address situations that put children most at risk for sexual harm. Learn how to identify the most common threats and concerns. Then find out the best ways you can join with others to keep everyone safe. Take action! Learn how to keep children safe Get the FAQs about the sex offender registryi Download our Tip Sheet:  Concerned about Sex Offenders in Your Neighborhood?

i cannot get my penis to rise to the occasion, it is the holocaust tho..

What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

Whats Black and hangs from a tree? A Tire(:

A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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