why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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h

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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Nah

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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