KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

The WNBA.

why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

Who has downs this joke

Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

hi. thats what she said.

Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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