Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

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"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

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Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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