Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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stop it ryan vallee

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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