Why did the bunny eat his food

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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The WNBA.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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2 black guys and a Mexican are in the backseat of a car. Who's driving. The cops

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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Paul Dylan King!

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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