Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Homework.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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A seal walks into a club.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

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What's worse than locking your keys in ur at outside of an abortion clinic? Going in side and asking for a coat hanger!!

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Whats funnier than a jew holding a nickel. Nothing. Jews are cheap.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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