why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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An illegal Mexican immargrant was deported for the selling an use of marijuana. the sad part is this happens everyday

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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Sex. That is all.

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what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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