I saw a chameleon. Then it died

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

thumb_up thumb_down +22

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

thumb_up thumb_down +20

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

cot!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Mitt Romney for president.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops