What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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