What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Ass

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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