How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Womens rights

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Where's my tractor?

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops