Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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2 black guys and a Mexican are in the backseat of a car. Who's driving. The cops

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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