Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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George W. Bush

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potato farming

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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4023145287

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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What iz stupid? Hibiyav

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want to go home? yea

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What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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