What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The holocaust.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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A woman went out and had a great time with her friends. Then she walked home alone and got viciously raped by 4 large black men.

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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