Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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poop

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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Me: do u you want to here a joke You: ya Me: Woman's rights

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Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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obama is a good president

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three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

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Barack Obama

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Looks through the peephole.

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What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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