What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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