Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Pickles

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A man walks into a bar.

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Derpy Hooves is retarded.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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