Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops