The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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women

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops