A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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Vagina-Boob

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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poop

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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