Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

9/11/2001

"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

You might be a redneck if you are a an uneducated white farm laborer from the south.

Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

You smell bad? Cool.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

what's funnier than hell? heaven

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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