What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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who hooked up with Sinead Walker? • Liam Findlay

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A horse walks into a bar. Animal control them came and got him out, apologizing for the matter.

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whats red and falls from a tree an apple

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Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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canaan and mallory

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What's up? A direction...

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YOU IS DUM

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops