a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Chrissy is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Canada's army

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's white and very boney? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +81

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops