Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Nathan Gooderson.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

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dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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