In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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SPAMS!!!

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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I have no ideas.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

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25

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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