How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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