i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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YOLO

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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Blarg

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I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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How do magnets work?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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