An iguana walks out of a bar

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

brett is a dick

A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

Anal cheese curds.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

Canada's army

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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