1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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minced oaths

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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