Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

Womens' rights.

GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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