A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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