The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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