A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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