A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

Why did the leper go back into the shower? he missed a spot.

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

NEVER

BUTTERFARTING

Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

Wolf Pussy

Rob Bell

Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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